I designed a product called the “First Person Narrator Beanie,” an offering from Writer Gear (made-up company on Shopify). I believe that as Millennials and Zoomers become the key demographics for marketers, edgy, spunky copy is going to sell. Here’s a taste of a voice I like to capture.

First Person Narrator Beanie

A lot of hip young cats out there wear dope beanies

It is a truth universally acknowledged that artistic folks have to wear hip s***.

Unnecessary beanies are quintessential hipster.

How else would people at the trendy coffee shop/craft whiskey joint/independent book store know that we have iron deficiencies (causes the constant cold, nerd)? You can’t moodily stare at a blank Macbook screen without visually displaying that your brilliant cranial word-tank is chilly.

Well, answer this: how f****** lame are regular old, non-mainstream beanies?

I’ll give you a hint. It’s way more f****** boring than…

The First Person Narrator Knit Beanie

How hilarious is this? And how meta?

Now everyone you pass will understand you’re a writer! Not just a typical hipster.

Everyone in the writer life in-crowd will see that your neurotic little writer’s brain is furiously working beneath that thin layer of acrylic fibers.

Specs that make the Writer Gear First Person Narrator Knit Beanie so fantastic

  • available in 11 dope colors
  • one size fits all
  • the salmon backdrop really makes First Person Narrator pop

About that 100% acrylic material…

  • being warm as wool allows for year-round versatility
  • hat will maintain its shape and color
  • resistant to stains and wrinkles
  • gentle on sensitive skin
  • machine washable

One last thing, folks

The first time someone comments on your First Person Narrator Knit Beanie, do me a favor, will you? Give ’em a real hip response. Maybe, “I was actually like the first person to ever buy a Writer Gear beanie. Knew about years before anyone else.”

Let’s work together.