Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself: a correctional perspective

You already know it is a complete gaffe that the media expects us to believe that Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide. While on suicide watch. Oh, wait, breaking MSM news. He actually wasn’t on suicide wa—yeah right!

How it’s literally impossible that suicide is the cause of Epstein’s death

Epstein was on suicide watch.

Another way to describe this is a Mental Health staff-ordered constant observation. Manhattan Correctional Center’s top MH official would’ve ordered Epstein remain in a security camera-monitored cell specifically designed to prevent suicide.

A plastic bed bolted to the floor. A smooth-edged sink-toilet combo. And a security smock, or turtle suit, made of tear-proof material that one cannot roll up and use to attempt hanging themselves.

More specific: the MH staff that called for this constant observation to prevent self-harm, will have worked with the MCC Shift Commanders to ensure that a correction officer would have been posted outside Epstein’s suicide proof room.


It’s called an Eyeball.

They suck.

You look at these idiots for eight hours straight, just eyeballing them for the slightest signs of attempted self-injurious behavior, which you then two-way radio in to initiate an emergency response.

So far, we have 24/7 camera surveillance and a CO trained in observing body language/behavior with nothing to do but call it in if Idiot Boy tries to kill himself.

But there’s even more.

The MH staff who called this watch writes up a Mental Health Watch Sheet. They go down the list of things an inmate can have and say yes or no based on the threat level.

For perspective:

  • eyeglass wearing inmates get their spectacles taken away because they can stab themselves with the legs;
  • toilet paper may be taken away because inmates try to swallow it and asphyxiate themselves;
  • inmates may get put on finger food status, because they would try to self-mutilate with plastic utensils;
  • and of course anything that could be used as a ligature is off-limits.

Not to mention the constant observation cell, purposefully designed spare for the safety of the inmate, does not possess anything from which to hang a ligature.

No doorknobs. No security window cranks. No bed frame.

Even in the sloppiest-run correctional environments, setting up “suicide watches” in such a way that completing a suicide is impossible is child’s play.

For the sake of playing along with the media’s bullshit, let’s say that aside from being a billionaire in spite of being talentless and a depraved pedophile and possible child-murderer, that Jeff Epstein also happened to be what we in the business call “a real con.”

That is, criminally insane and adept enough at gaming the prison system to get what they want by hurting themselves, that they become idiot savants in suicidal behavior.

I’ve seen inmates who wrap loose razor blades in palatable material so that they can swallow them to later puke them up and use them to gash their own wrists open. Or they kiester—yeah, kiddo, right up the poop shoot—the blades or other weapons in order to retrieve later so they can slice and dice. Or they’ll figure out a way to swan dive off the bolted down bed, break their necks, and try to drown themselves in the toilet.

“Real cons,” hardened psychopaths, do these things. Not Sperry-wearing, Bill Clinton buddy-pal, pedophile Richie Riches. You really think a disgusting coward like Epstein would know how to and/or have the nerve to go the extreme lengths it would take to commit suicide during a constant observation?

Keep in mind, someone’s watching the camera. Keep in mind that a CO is on his radio the second Epstein’s behavior turns self-injurious.

Oh yeah, and the official line is that he hanged himself.

As I said, there would be nothing else to possibly create a ligature with in the cell other than the turtle suit. And using that to strangle yourself to death would take strength and cunning not feasible to anyone who has dealt with them. And allowing that he did turn a turtle suit into a noose, against the laws of physics, he had nothing from which to hang himself in the cell—no leverage points to start the asphyxiation process.

It’s all bullshit.

How Epstein (may have) gotten killed

However, there’s one extremely simple way for Epstein to have been killed. Murdered.

A nurse on medicine rounds.

In prison tax-payers foot the bill for all inmates’ medications. They receive them in controlled environment several times a day in “med lines.” Inmates on MH watches also receive meds, ranging from aspirin to Metamucil to psychotropics.

I bet Epstein took something.

How painfully easy it would’ve been for a nurse to give him some form of untraceable poison? Or for higher ups to pre-load her med cart with the bad junk without her noticing?

You tell me Epstein got murdered by poison I wouldn’t bat an eye. But to roll with the nonsense story that he completed a suicide by hanging. Gtfo.